How To Survive: The Outside Worship Circle

Image by BottleLeaf via Flickr

At many Bible Colleges and Christian Universities something magical happens on a nice sunny day, especially if you’re Bible College is in the North U.S. or Canada. It is a moment when the stars align and a group of people come outside to sit in a circle and sing. It is something that is not planned but everybody knows when it is going to happen. I’m not sure how it happens, but I guess it is like when male dogs know when a female dog is in heat. The only difference between dogs in heat and the worship circle is the only thing that happens in the worship circle is just good ol’fashion acoustic worship. You have to admit you are impressed that I tied in dogs in heat to the outside worship circle.

Now the outside worship circle is a very complex living organism. There are many fast moving parts in this group, and we need to break down every person’s part in the worship circle. You could say the most important part of the outside worship circle (they are not), the leader, and the key player is the guitar player. The best part about the guitar player is that you don’t even need to have a great voice to lead your outside worship circle. You could sound like Mic Jagger (and look like him) from the past few years. Are you surprised that a Bible College student knows who Mic Jagger is and should I repent because I have this knowledge of this legendary front man?

The second key component of this circle of people is the djembe. A djembe is a drum you set between your legs, and yes that is how you spell it. See you get a laugh from the blog and you gain knowledge, and we all know knowledge is power.

The djembe player is really the most important person in this group. I know I said it seems like the most important player is the guitarist, but really they are just the leader of the group. The djembe player is the most important player of the group, because when people say they really felt the presence of God in that jam session what they really mean is “the rhythm of the djembe really got me moving!” But for real the djembe player is the most unappreciated person in the circle. To all those djembe players out there, you are the key player to this group of people. Don’t let anybody tell you are not important just because you are not as cool, you’re not as edgy with your clothing, you don’t wear a vest, and you don’t have a Flock of Seagulls haircut like the guitar player of the group.

Now the last people of the group depends of if the guitar player if a guy or a girl. Now if the guy is leading you will have a lot of girls in the worship circle, because they want to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit but they also think the leader is 100% hot. You will also have a few guys in the group who cannot play but want to show the girls that they are just as spiritual as the guitarist, even if they are not as hot.

Now if a girl is leading this group you will still have the same elements but reversed. The guys in the group want to worship but they also think the girl leading the worship is 100% hot.

Now that you know the elements of the outside worship circle you can choose whether or not you want to join. Be warned, if you walk by a worship circle and you do not join the people in that group may or may not give you a look like you are not as spiritual as them. This has happened to me a thousand times. If this “I’m closer to God because I’m sitting in a circle singing” look happens to you, don’t worry we can get through it together.